hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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