whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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