p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
His hands were made for my vagina.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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