I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
