she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
