don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
