I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
