worst night to have a conscience
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
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