the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Randomize
