well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
