It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
We smell like vodka and hangover
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