Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
