it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Dicks are not precious.
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