i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
please come you make the beer taste better
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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