let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
