I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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