We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
