Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
