If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
