Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
