That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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