thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
