Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
