Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
