We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
