You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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