get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Randomize
