i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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