thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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