Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
