I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
the day after is always just damage control
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
