Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
