when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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