Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize