shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
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