you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
