Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
