Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
