I just cut my nipple shaving
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
We are all done wearing pants today
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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