Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize