Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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