check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
