Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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