we have officially lost it.
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I am one with the molecules
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
