As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Randomize
