u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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