Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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