So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize