she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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