I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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