you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
