She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
