My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize