Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Randomize
