I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
