Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
