when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
